Running Away.

There is a saying that you don't know what you want till you lose it. Then, there is also a saying that you never know till you try, and that more often than not, requests that go unsaid ends up being a wish unfulfilled. So, there is this whole talk about manifestation and how powerful our minds are in determining the outcomes of things, technically life as a whole. I have put this theory to test a couple of times, having found very feasible outcomes but not for long.

When an intention is set, I set my mind to attaining it. My problem isn't that my mind can't focus long enough, it is that I run away when the manifestation does happen. Perhaps it is because that yearn for the outcome was for something that I did not have, something new, a typical humane desire to want what I don't have.

I can see for myself that it is a step by step process. First, I have got through the manifestation bit. Now, it is about my reaction towards the manifestation. Previously, I struggled having to deal with the frustration of not having things manifested as I thought it out to be. Now, it is about dealing with embracing the manifestation and knowing what to do with it besides running away in fear of the unfamiliar.

The reason for this escape is that I am just not comfortable with the unfamiliar. Well, to be fair, who is? For years, I have kept to doing what I do best; sports. I have found it so tough to come out from that identity and do something new. It was a mind game, the fear of failure, of starting from scratch, of humbling myself; but isn't that what life is about? Learning? Everyday is a new day, every moment is a new beginning. What's there to lose in trying out something new? After all, doesn't it all get somewhat monotonous and boring when you do the same thing over and over again, despite it being with different people and place?

I grew to understand that life is a gamble. Not in the sense of winning and losing, but in the aspect of being able to take that risk that things may not turn out as expected or planned. It is the aftermath of a choice that really defines an individual. Hence the saying, you can't control what happens to you, but you can however control how you react to it.

With that, I'd stand tall and say that this time around, I am here to stay. I am playing your game of life, God. Count me in. Manifestations of my very own thoughts will lead me to further growth and lessons, I am up for it!

Are you?

P.S.

I experimented with a new video, recording an audio of this piece of writing, combining it with photographs of a sunset that I have shot in the past. Enjoy!

Loves,
Ee Ping